PMS + Holistic Psychotherapy
GUEST PRACTITONER: Thanks to Brooklyn-Based holistic psychotherapist, Julie Goldberg, for contributing to our Journal! Julie is the founder of Third Nature Therapy in Brooklyn, NY - learn more about their offerings and book a session here: https://www.thirdnaturetherapy.com/
As a therapist, I usually begin my sessions by simply asking “How are you?”. Many of my female clients often answer, half joking, ‘I’m PMS’ing and losing my mind’—as if this is simply part of life.
While PMS is common, feeling extreme mood swings, hopelessness, and/or pain every month is not something you have to accept as your ‘normal.’ Because hormones influence everything from mood and energy to sleep and concentration, untreated imbalances can often show up as emotional struggles—what feels like ‘just PMS’ may actually be your body’s way of asking for deeper support.
When clients describe intense PMS symptoms, I first encourage them to connect with a medical professional to seek support for what their body is communicating to them. A gynecologist, acupuncturist, naturopath, endocrinologist, and internal medicine doctor are all great options to get the care they need.
In the process of seeking medical support, we work together to build coping skills to help manage some of the symptoms.
Below are three of my most used support tools for helping clients manage PMS:
Noticing The Symptoms Without Becoming the Symptom
Begin to track your cycle and learn when and how your PMS symptoms show up. As things start to arise, learn to separate from the experience without becoming the experience. This might look like noticing and saying to yourself, “A part of me is overwhelmed right now” rather than “I am overwhelmed.”
Begin to create distance from the symptoms so you can witness them, rather than become them. Instead of blaming yourself for being “moody” or “too sensitive,” you can start to understand that your body is following a rhythm that you can begin to witness and support.
Make Space for What You Really Need
As you begin to track and learn more about your symptoms, can you build a relationship with your body and hormones that lets them know you are listening?
What does your body need during PMS or while you are menstruating?
Can you learn to listen and care for yourself in ways that signal to your body that you love it and want to care for it?
This might look like clearing social plans and turning inward on days your body needs more attention. Or the opposite, seeking out social plans and planning something fun when you know your spirits might need a lift.
Let go of what you think you “should” be doing and begin to turn inward, learning to build a unique relationship with your symptoms and body rather than resisting them.
Find Balance Between Pain and Pleasure
Pendulation is a somatic tool used to notice and be with the physical experiences of both pain and ease. It involves moving back and forth between sensations of safety and discomfort.
As you notice tension or cramping in the body, gently shift your attention to a place in your body that feels more open or at ease. If nowhere in your body feels at ease, find a plant, a painting, a visual, or something similar in your environment to rest your attention on.
Intentionally give your mind a break from the pain, resting and settling into pleasure.
Then, begin to move your awareness back and forth between pleasure and pain, resting for a few cycles of breath on each of them. This is hard work! Think of it as a mental bicep curl, which will eventually begin to give your mind a break from its natural orientation towards pain.
Your Cycle Symptoms are Messengers
If PMS symptoms show up each month and begin to interfere with your day-to-day well-being, know that there is support for you. With medical care and emotional regulation tools, it’s possible to build a more balanced relationship with your cycle.